


The Choices We Make

by Xochiquetzl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-31
Updated: 2005-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-05 05:36:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xochiquetzl/pseuds/Xochiquetzl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus finds out Severus didn't betray them. This is a good thing, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Choices We Make

**Author's Note:**

  * For [McKay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/gifts).



The _Daily Prophet_ had a mug shot of Severus Snape on the cover. His long, elegant hands held his name in front of his chest. His hair was tousled, his clothes were torn, and his eyes were defiant.

Remus picked up the paper and stared at the photo, and Severus' face raised a haughty eyebrow at him.

"You all right?" Nymphadora asked.

Remus couldn't take his eyes off Severus' face. "I... don't know."

He'd expected that he'd be relieved when they caught Severus. Instead, the sight of Severus filled him with...

Longing. It was longing.

The photo smirked at him, as if it knew. It went completely through him. Severus...

"Remus," Nymphadora said, sitting on the edge of the sofa--he hadn't even heard her get up. "Are you all right?"

He looked up then, at her young, pretty, worried face, and tried to smile reassuringly. Her expression suggested that he hadn't succeeded. "What's going to happen to him?"

"Fair trial, followed by life in Azkaban, most like."

That shouldn't hurt; it was what he deserved. But the heart was immune to logic, and Remus supposed he was still half in love with the man he'd thought Severus was, and that half of him hated the idea of Severus suffering. He glanced back down at the paper, and supposed that once you gave your heart to someone, you never really got it back. Not really. He sighed.

Nymphadora put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Remus said. "I've been expecting to hear he's dead."

Nymphadora leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Tea?"

"Yes, ta," he said. After she left the room, he reached a cautious finger down to the paper, but stopped before he touched it. "Would you be upset if I went to the trial?"

Nymphadora came out of the kitchen. "Of course not. I know you..." She paused, as if the words didn't want to come out, but finally they did. "Loved him."

Remus thought he might cry for a moment. He looked back down at the paper for a second. Severus' mug shot cocked its head, then sneered.

He stood, and walked over to Nymphadora and put his arms around her, and she held him.

There was a knock at the door. Nymphadora patted him, and went to answer. It was Hagrid. "Is this a bad time?"

"I, um... come in," she said.

"Is there something we can do for you?" Remus asked.

"'He gave me somethin'," Hagrid said. "Snape. To give t'yeh, if he died."

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Well," Hagrid continued. "You can imagine! After he... you know... I considered burnin' it, but then I thought yeh might want it. Well, I couldn't decide, but now that he's been arrested I started thinkin' it might be evidence."

"He thought he might die?" Remus said.

"Well, you know. He said the Dark Arts position was cursed, yeh see, and he wanted me to hold onto this and give it t'yeh if he didn't survive the term." Hagrid reached into his pocket, and pulled out something wrapped in a piece of paper and tied with a bit of string.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"I didn't open it," Hagrid said. "He was quite clear that I shouldn't open it. Kept it under me mattress, just like he told me to. I'm daft, aren't I?"

Remus untied the string.

"Are you sure?" Nymphadora asked, pulling out her wand.

"I'm sure," Remus said, and carefully unwrapped the paper. There was a note written on the inside, in Severus' spidery handwriting.

_Remus, _

_I believe you will know what to do with the enclosed object. It is, after all, your area of expertise._

_S._

The paper was wrapped around a small wooden box. He opened it, and there was something tiny and silver inside. He turned the box over onto the table, pulled out his wand, and said, "Finite incantatem."

The object grew into a silver vase with an eagle inscribed on the side.

"What would he be givin' yeh silver for?" Hagrid said. "Don't he know it's bad for yeh?"

"An eagle," Nymphadora said. "Ravenclaw?" She reached towards the vase.

Remus grabbed her hand. "Don't touch it," Remus said. "It could be cursed."

"'Yer area of expertise,'" Hagrid said.

Remus pointed his wand at the vase and said, "What are you?"

The eagle inscription morphed, forming the words, "Why don't you pick me up and find out?"

"Under no circumstances," Remus said, "is anyone to touch it."

"What is it?" Nymphadora said.

"I think," Remus said, "that it's the last horcrux."

* * *

Severus was led into the Wizengamot. He looked dreadful; thin, pale, bruised, with dark circles under his eyes. And very small, in that big room with all those wizards staring down disapprovingly at him from all directions.

Remus stood, and tugged on Hagrid's sleeve. They walked up to the front of the room.

"Yes," Gawain Robards, the head of Magical Law Enforcement, said, acknowledging them with a curt nod, "we know you have evidence. We will call on you shortly." He scowled down at the parchment on his desk. "Do you have anything to say in your own defense, Snape?"

Severus crossed his arms and scowled.

"Very well. Mr. Lupin?"

"Hagrid--that's Rubeus Hagrid, who teaches Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts--gave me this item." He pulled the box out of his pocket. "He said Severus gave it to him to give to me, in case he didn't survive." He emptied the box onto the floor and pulled out his wand. "Finite incantatem." He looked over at Severus, who was watching him, intent. "I believe it's the last horcrux, and therefore evidence that Severus has been on our side all along."

"Mr. Lupin," Robards said, "this evidence is irrelevant."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Severus Snape performed an Unforgivable Curse in front of multiple witnesses. This crime carries a mandatory life sentence."

"But..."

"You should not have brought it, Lupin," Severus said, and Remus turned to look at him. "You were supposed to destroy it."

"It is the last horcrux, isn't it?" Remus said.

"Of course it is, you dolt. And it will have wards on it, so be careful."

"You don't honestly expect us to believe..." Robards started.

That must have been enough for Severus, because he grabbed Remus' wand. There was pandemonium, shouting, aurors rushing forward to grab Severus.

Remus couldn't hear the exact spell Severus used, but the vase screamed. The aurors backed away from the vase, and Remus took a step back as well.

"Avada Kedavra!" The green bolt struck the vase, which screamed again and fell onto its side, green smoke rising up from it. Severus flew back, striking the wall. "Don't touch it," he said.

Remus walked over, and took his wand back from Severus and pointed it at the vase. "Evanesco," he said, and the vase vanished. He put his wand back in his pocket, and brushed the hair out of Severus' eyes. "I think he needs to go to St. Mungo's," Remus said.

"Now," Severus whispered.

Remus leaned closer. "Severus?"

"Strike now, before he has a chance to create another one."

Remus nodded, and several aurors pulled Severus away and carried him out.

* * *

Remus was starting to lose his temper.

"I'm sorry, sir," the guard on the door said. "Ministry employees or immediate family only."

"But Severus Snape has no family, immediate or otherwise."

"That's unfortunate," the guard said, "but the rules are immediate family only."

"Fine," Remus said. "Call a minister. We'll get married."

"You can't get married," the guard said. "You're blokes. It's not legally binding."

Remus was talking himself down when Kingsley Shacklebolt came around the corner.

"Remus!" Kingsley said. He pulled Remus into Severus' room with him. The guard opened his mouth to object. "He's with me."

The room was dark, the walls were stone, and there were bars on the windows leaving striped shadows across Severus' face and bed. He looked pale, his hair lying limp on the pillow. He didn't open his eyes, but his expression changed slightly.

"He's dead," Kingsley said.

Severus opened his eyes and looked at Kingsley blankly.

"You-know-who. He's dead."

Severus closed his eyes again, but his face relaxed and his lips curved upwards slightly.

"Severus," Remus said. "I'm going to try to get you out."

"Don't waste your time," Severus said. "You heard Robards. I committed an Unforgivable Curse in front of witnesses. Then I did it again in open court."

"But..."

Severus sighed. "I'm too tired for your unwarranted bravado, Lupin. Spare me."

"You should have told me," Remus said.

"It was safer for both of us that you not know."

Remus leaned over, and kissed Severus on the forehead. "I loved you."

Kingsley raised his eyebrows, and Remus blushed.

"Are you happy?" Severus asked.

"I was, mostly." Remus sighed, and his hand rested on Severus' shoulder.

"Not any more?"

"I thought you betrayed me!"

"And that made you happy?"

"It made me able to stop worrying about you and move on!" Remus' eyes were stinging and his lips were burning, and he was dreadfully embarrassed to have this conversation in front of Kingsley, but he couldn't help himself. He might never have this opportunity again.

Kingsley stepped away from the bed and started to stare fixedly out the window. Bless him.

"Well," Severus said, his voice mocking and sharp, "it seems to me that you'd best go back to moving on. Go have a nice safe snog with your new sweetheart. You'll feel better."

"Why are you being like this?" Remus asked.

Severus looked at him for a moment, and answered, softly, "I'm just trying to help."

Remus closed his eyes. He thought for a moment he might cry, or yell, or break things.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Severus, who'd done what he had to, what Dumbledore had asked of him. And it wasn't fair to Nymphadora, who'd been there when he needed her.

And it wasn't fair to him. His year of hell, his life now, all based on a lie.

"I'm going to try and get you out," Remus said.

"And what will I do then?" Severus said. "Teach at Hogwarts?"

"Minerva would probably hire you."

"Parents will not want a convicted murderer teaching their children," Severus said.

"You're not a convicted murderer yet," Remus said.

"You know," Severus said, "you could probably convince Potter to recant, and they would still convict me. Because at this point, they want to so much."

Remus let out a long breath, slowly. "So you're just giving up?"

"That's a goad for a Gryffindor," Severus said. "Slytherins know when to cut their losses."

"You're one of us," Kingsley said. "We'll come up with something."

* * *

When Remus arrived at Scrimgeour's office, the heavy wooden door was just barely open, and he could hear Draco Malfoy inside already. "You don't understand! The Dark Lord was going to kill my mother! Professor Snape did what he did to protect the two of us!"

"I hardly think..." Scrimgeour started.

"And then he protected me for two years. I'd be dead if it weren't for him." Remus heard a deep, harsh breath, almost a sob. "If anyone should go to prison, it should be me, not him."

"Mr. Malfoy!" Scrimgeour sounded exasperated. "Prison is where people go when they've committed crimes. If I understand correctly, you incurred Lord Voldemort's wrath by failing to commit a crime."

Remus could smell Draco's anger through the door. He knocked, and immediately came in. He smiled. "Hello, Draco. Minister, I'd like Severus Snape pardoned as well."

Scrimgeour rolled his eyes and flopped down into his leather chair, which creaked. "And why is that, pray tell?"

"Because he gave us the last horcrux."

Draco did a double-take. Scrimgeour leaned back in his chair and tilted his head at Remus. "I'll think about it."

"It's worth an Order of Merlin," Remus said. "Are you going to award an Order of Merlin to a convicted felon serving a life sentence in Azkaban?"

"I said I'd think about it," Scrimgeour said. "I'm a busy man, so if you'll excuse me, I have other duties to attend to."

Draco stormed out the door, and Remus followed him. When they were in the street, Remus called, "Draco!"

Draco didn't stop.

* * *

The next day's _Daily Prophet_ headline read, "Snape: Order of Merlin, Life in Prison." Remus skimmed it; it was full of platitudes about law and order and consequences for one's actions from Scrimgeour and Robards. Remus crumpled up the paper and threw it; it struck Nymphadora's sofa.

Behind him, Nymphadora just watched, silent, arms across her chest.

"It's bollocks!" he said. He stormed out the door, and took a long walk. When he returned, she was gone, and there was a note on the table.

_Remus,_

_I'm going to visit my mum for a couple of days. _

_Tonks_

Oh, bugger.

* * *

Severus' cell was better furnished than most; he had a nice bit of carpet, and a comfortable bed with drapes, and a writing desk. And they let him have unescorted visitors.

Severus was standing in the middle of the room, next to the desk. He smirked. "I finally got my Order of Merlin," he said.

"They should have pardoned you," Remus said.

"Yes, well. Pardoning someone who committed an Unforgivable Curse sends a bad moral message to society--unlike, say, incarcerating decorated war heroes." He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"We'll come up with something."

"You won't convince them," Severus said. "Stan Bloody Shunpike is still in prison, and, unlike me, he didn't do a sodding thing."

Remus wasn't sure when he made the decision to do it--if he had--but he found himself across the room with Severus in his arms, kissing him fiercely. He could feel Severus hardening, smell his arousal, and he pushed Severus back against the desk.

He shouldn't. It was wrong, and somehow that just goaded him on.

"What about your girlfriend?" Severus said.

Trust Severus to make things difficult. "She's visiting her mum for a couple of days."

Severus made a disgusted noise, deep in his throat, and tried to pull away.

"Jealous?" Remus asked.

"Yes," Severus whispered.

Remus closed his eyes, and let his forehead drop against Severus'. "So's she, I think. Hence the visit to her mum."

"Stupid bint," Severus said.

Remus pulled away. "Severus!"

"It's not like I can steal you away from her," Severus said. "Did she fail to notice the life imprisonment, or does she simply fail to grasp the consequences?"

"Don't talk about her that way!"

"You were the one who asked if I was jealous," Severus said. "What did you expect?"

"Maybe she doesn't want to be my second choice," Remus said.

"Does that make me your first choice?" Severus said, raising an eyebrow.

Remus shoved Severus onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He reached down and fondled the bulge in Severus' trousers. Severus lay back and watched, eyes languid, a finger pressing absently against his lips. Remus growled, and lowered his head to nip lightly at Severus' neck. Severus' hand fell back onto the bed, and he lay back watching Remus with an almost smug expression.

"What?" Remus said.

"This and the Order of Merlin almost make up for my lack of freedom," Severus said. "Almost."

Remus made an annoyed noise, and shifted so their clothed crotches rubbed up against each other, and thrust.

"Yes," Severus whispered, reaching up at last, stroking Remus' hair, shoulders, reaching down to Remus' trousers. "I want your skin."

Remus pulled away long enough to pull down his trousers roughly, and then reached for Severus' trousers. Severus just smiled at him as he pulled them down to Severus' knees.

The first thrust of skin on skin was cautious, slow. Severus pulled Remus down into a kiss, and the thrusting sped up, Severus grabbing Remus' buttocks and pulling him closer. They were grunting now, panting, their skin growing slippery with sweat, and all too soon Severus was crying out under him, and it was warm and wet and slick under his cock and it smelled, oh...

Perfect.

He lowered his head against Severus' neck and sighed.

* * *

He'd have to confess to Nymphadora when she got back. That was all there was to it. It was only right. He kicked off his shoes and lay back on the bed with a sigh. He'd never deserved her, ever. She was clearly daft. He'd told her she deserved someone whole; he didn't think she'd ever really grasped what he meant.

The door opened, and Nymphadora peeked her head in. "Good, you're awake," she said.

"Nymphadora, I..."

She made an annoyed noise deep in her throat. "Just don't, all right?" She sighed. "I brought you something."

"Listen, I need to..."

"Will you let me finish?" she said. "Snape's downstairs."

Remus sat up. "How?"

"You'd be amazed what a metamorphagus and a polyjuiced animagus can come up with," she said. "Snape was quite surprised to see Scrimgeour and Robards come to visit." She grinned for a moment, and then became serious again. "Listen, all of us were in on it, but they did it because he was one of ours, and we can't leave him there. But that's not the only reason I did it." She stopped there, and stared at the floor.

"Well?" Remus said. She looked up, and he smiled back, encouraging.

"I want you to choose," she said. "If he were in prison and you were with me, I'd always wonder. This way, I'll know."

Remus stared at her, speechless. There was a long moment where they stared at each other for a moment, then Nymphadora nodded, and headed towards the door. "That's what I thought. I'll make things easy for you."

"I do love you," he said.

"As well you should," she answered, with the smallest smile.


End file.
